


Here We Come, A-Failing

by forwardarcadia



Category: The Sims (Video Games)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5526365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forwardarcadia/pseuds/forwardarcadia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little festive flight of fancy, featuring the residents of Willow Creek and Oasis Springs once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here We Come, A-Failing

Despite the wild events of the Roomies’ night prior, nothing could have prepared them for what stood behind their front door. Only the barest of warning had been given, leaving Zoe to toss on J’s shirt at random. Likewise, he sauntered to their home’s front, wearing only the rumpled pants he’d had on before. Once at the door, he took in a deep breath and grasped its handle. 

As he swung it open, flashes of emerald and ruby greeted him, striking in their presence. On still bleary eyes, he stared straight on and blinked a few times. There on his front step stood Don Lothario, clad in garish, tropical garb. The Caliente sisters kept at his side, bearing similar attire. Before either could ask of their sudden presence, Dina chimed in and rose a glass jar to her chest. 

“Hi, guys! We’re Snowflake caroling around here,” she stated on spry breath. “It’s to raise money for the Bella Beneficiary in Sunset Valley!” Her companions nodded in kind, their eyes bright as the neon lights all over creation. “The first song is free, but we’ll keep singing for donations. What do ya say?” The trio’s eyes roamed along Zoe and J, attempting to read their enthusiasm, or lack of.

While the sight of them haphazardly dressed would have raised their suspicions, they sensed their neighbors felt the same. Even more so, judging from their weary, yet intrigued gazes. As their eyes darted between Dina and Nina’s grass skirts and coconut bras, Don leaned in, his neon blossoms and sunglasses apparent. “If you’re wonderin’ about the outfits,” he elaborated to their rapt attention.”We’re doin’ this Hawaiian style for fun! So you wanna let us sing here or not?”

With quizzical glances to one another, Zoe and J nodded back, unsure of what was to come. Ready to display their efforts in full, Don turned back to the Calientes and motioned towards his throat. They gave him a quick nod and smiled broadly. “Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say,” they sang, to their audience’s slight amusement. “On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day; That's the island greeting that we send to you-” 

They paused for a moment and took in deep breaths. As Zoe smiled to herself, she fiddled with the pocket of J’s shirt to any loose change within. While the trio recomposed themselves, J glanced back and nodded knowingly. “Okay, one, two, three,” Don announced as the Calientes prepared to start anew. “All with me: Vagina pineapple! Vagina pineapple, vagina pineapple-” At his command, they chimed in, imbuing the phrase with a lilting melody. The pair jerked back, now astonished and speechless.

While the others carried on their chant, Nina cleared her throat and stared directly at their audience. Her lips parted, only for a low, throaty call to fill the air. As she yodeled in time with her companions’ singing, Mitchell and Gavin emerged behind their roommates, their mouths agape. Though Zoe turned back to reason with them, J kept forward and shut his eyes tight. “Good fuckin God,” he muttered under his breath as he reached for his nose’s bridge. “What the hell?!” 

As suddenly as their performance had begun, it ended, leaving the tropical trio aglow. Dina and Nina beamed to themselves, their faces bright with smug satisfaction. “So, what do ya think?” Don asked aloud as Dina shook the jar about. “Wanna pay for another round?” Despite their enthusiasm, neither Roomie could conceal their unease. Likewise, Mitchell and Gavin began to laugh, though they tried to conceal it in part. 

“I’ll be honest, you guys suck!” J exclaimed to the surprise of all as Zoe drew closer. “You can’t sing for beans! Let Zoe give you some money, then get outta here!” He shoved his pointer finger at Don’s nose, its nail nearly at the tip. The other man drew back, leaving Dina to cradle the tip jar for dear life. Stuck by his blunt criticism, the Calientes stared at once another, their mouths agape. As all struggled to defend themselves, Zoe deposited a few Simoleons into the jar, prompting J to slam the door at their faces. 

Now shut off from the Roomies’ abode, they stood aimlessly, blinking into the void. “Now what?” Dina asked of her companions, eyes set on pale wood. “You saw how they were looking at us back there! Probably laughing their asses off as we speak. Oh, what are we gonna do?” Silence passed, leaving only their addled minds to provide any feedback. As they mused among themselves, Nina jerked up, her eyes bright.

“I’ve got an idea,” she chimed in, leaving Don and Dina to meet her gaze. “I’ll need to make some calls, but trust me. In the end, it’ll totally be worth it!” A broad grin crept onto Nina’s face, its presence a great comfort to their efforts. 

 

“Okay, listen up, you idiots,” Nina commanded the pair as she drew a young woman to her side. “I got Cassandra here to help us, since she’s supposed to be a good singer. Won a bunch of awards, all that junk.” Flattered by her praise, Cassandra tittered to herself and tried to cover her growing smile. Aware of what Nina intended, Don and Nina nodded back and waved to their new companion. Assorted greetings soon filled the air, full of the good cheer all wished to convey.

“Now we’re losing daylight here,” Nina stated with a toss of her head, eyes set upon her smartphone’s screen. “We’ve done most of Oasis Springs, so let’s head into Willow Creek.” All nodded in kind and marched up and down the warm pavement. As they plodded along, Cassandra lead the way in a new tune. “ Hark, the herald angels sing,” she sang aloud, encouraging the others to follow suit. “ Glory to the newborn king; Peace on earth and mercy mild! God and sinners reconciled-”

While her voice possessed an intense, pure clarity, one particular aspect of it soon raised some concern. “Cass, you’re great, but you sing really loud!” Dina called out in an attempt to drown out her pulsing voice. “Why don’t ya tone it down a little?!” In an instant, Cassandra turned back, eyes brimming with despair. Dina pulled back for a second, her lips trembling. “Sorry, it’s just hurtin’ my ears!” The others nodded in agreement, their own features illuminated by confusion as well.

Relieved by her explanation, Cassandra’s face lit up as she beamed. She gave them a quick nod and raised a finger to her lips. “She’s right,” Don said as he shot her an appraising glance. “You’re really good, but really, really loud. Why’s that?” She merely met his gaze and tilted her head, sending dark locks against her cheek.

“What, Mom says that ya have to ‘project’ for everybody to hear you,” Cassandra replied with a sly smirk. “Isn’t that why you dragged me out here?” When all nodded yet again, she chuckled to herself, vindicated in her vocal prowess. “Good, now let’s go! We were trying for Magnolia Promenade and Newcrest, right? Just suck it up and take my lead!” All spoke in agreement, prompting their gathering to move once more. “How about a different song this time?”

And so they pressed on, venturing through the remainder of Oasis Springs’ streets. Along the way, they passed by Affluista Mansion and its residents outside. At the moment, the elder Landgraabs hung up scores of festive lights, the gem-like orbs like jewelry upon its exterior. As Nancy stood on a ladder, the troupe’s song filled the air and sent a fretful jolt down her spine. In her panic, she slid back, only to lose her balance and fall off. On the way down, she saw her lights burst in frenzy, sending sparks all about. 

Geoffrey rushed to capture her, leaving her to collapse in his arms. Once she’d regained her senses, she gazed at him reached for her hair. “Thanks, hon,” Nancy breathed out as she picked away shards of tinted glass. “I know it could be worse, but still! Look at our fucking lights now!” She growled under her breath, eyes irritated by the influx of grit in the air. Jade pools examined their home’s display, surveying the extent of its damage. 

“Hell, I think they even broke Nana’s Light-Up Llama!” she cried in vain, mouth agape. “The only Simsmas ‘massacre’ here is our busted display! This is a disaster-” As they stared at their ruined lights, Malcolm emerged from inside, stunned by a familiar voice. He’d carried a torch for Cassandra prior, but the sight of her in naught but leaves and coconut shells pushed him past his limit. 

Lost to his infatuation, he soon trailed after the troupe, drawn to her like a moth to light. Before his parents could react, he had slipped into their crowd, marching as proudly as they did. Though both desired to chase after him, an abrupt warmth engulfed them. Now under the mercy of a raging fire, all they could do was douse it away while Malcolm disappeared. Bit by bit, the troupe vanished into the either, leaving amber plains and turquoise skies behind. 

 

True to their word, all entered Willow Creek, joyous and brash. While Don had noticed Malcolm’s inclusion, he brushed it off, reasoning that an additional singer couldn’t hinder their cause. And so they ventured forth, singing all the way through. “Joy to the world,” they proclaimed as neighbors and townies alike stopped to watch them. “The Lord has come; Let Earth receive her King-”

Upon passing by Garden Essence, they sighted its residents, all together on a porch swing. While Travis and Summer only spared a moment to be amused by their spectacle, Liberty quickly became entranced by it all. With no prior warning, she hopped off the swing and ran up to the carolers. Despite her own raucous pleas, Cassandra’s singing drowned her out still. Forced by her hand, Liberty trailed after them, calling out with every step.

As Travis got up from his seat, Summer reached for his arm, her gaze tender. “Travis, just let her go,” she pleaded softly, drawing him to her side. “We already fought about this; If she wants to chase after them, let her. She’s the Snowflake nut, after all!” Cowed by her honesty, he got back to his seat and brushed her cheek. “All right, then- Have fun, Liberty, wherever you’re going!” 

The next homes fared quite a bit better; Once Cassandra and her troupe passed by, their song struck them as well. Some neighbors merely shooed them away, while others offered them donations and other such items. Of them, Bob and Eliza offered several hundred Simoleons for their departure, as well some fruitcakes. Other townies offered what they could, and soon their jar overflowed with riches. 

“At that rate, we’ll have more than enough to give away!” Dina exclaimed as she cradled the weighty jar. She glanced to Cassandra, who grinned back. “We’re gettin’ close, but I bet you’re dyin’ to see your folks, Cass. Wait until they see ya, they’re gonna be so proud!” Along the way, all had become aware of Malcolm and Liberty’s inclusion, but made no fuss, just as Don had. Through it all, a sense of good will and joy penetrated them, leaving them impervious to any slights to be encountered. “Come on, everybody, let’s go!” 

 

Back at Ophelia Villa’s front yard, the remainder of Cassandra’s clan lazed about in various states. While Alexander kicked a soccer ball about, Bella watched him from a nearby table, her lips in a serene smile. As she cradled a coffee cup in her hands, her gaze darted between him and her beloved wandering around. For the moment, Mortimer had equipped a gaming device to himself, the likes of which obscured his eyes and ears.

In his state of affairs, the outside world seemed more an apparition than tangible reality. Though Bella had voiced her concerns prior, he brushed them off and ventured forth in his virtual realm. As he carefully stepped about their lawn, Alexander took notice, and weaved about with his ball. Their interplay brought to mind a game of pinball, and with it, Bella as their spectator. “What do you think, ladybug?” Mortimer asked of her, his palms stuck out. “Isn’t it marvelous?” 

“That’s nice, but I wish you’d play with it inside,” Bella shot back as she glared at his visor. “I know you can’t see it, but you look ridiculous shambling around! I’m afraid you’ll walk into the road, and we’ll have to fetch you there!” A dark brow rose up, highlighting her blazing orbs. She knew Mortimer couldn’t see her, but hoped her voice would penetrate through his headphones. Still blind to the outside world, he jerked back, palms out to where he assumed she sat. 

“Well, one of you be my eyes and ears, then,” he retorted, prompting a mockingly exasperated huff from her. “Might as well make the best of it,and-” His voice drifted away as a piercing note rattled along his headphones. “Wait, do you hear it too?” Likewise, Bella and Alexander ceased to move, save for a jerk of their heads to and fro. “Sounded like something was being shaken up! Guys, what’s going on?!” Sensing the worst, Bella got up and rushed to her beloved’s side. 

As the pair searched about, a distant mass drew closer, seemingly composed of all colors. Alexander slipped his glasses off and squinted in their direction. Through the sun’s bright glare, he spotted Cassandra and her troupe. As they drew closer, their song also became apparent. “Vagina pineapple,” she crooned alongside her companions in time to Nina’s yodeling. “Vagina pineapple, vagina pineapple-” 

“What in God’s green earth?!” Bella blurted out as she stared at their troupe. “Am I hearing it right, is she saying-” Before she could speak further, Mortimer lumbered towards them, seemingly entranced by their mysterious song as well. While his vision was still obscured, he could sense their heated frames. In an instant, their singing ceased, only to be replaced by their screams. As Malcolm trailed after Cassandra, Liberty and Don went their own way. Paralyzed by fear, the Calientes remained in place, at Mortimer’s blind mercy. 

Bella’s touch kept him from harming her, leaving him to reason what the device had hidden from himself. “Say, you feel familiar,” Mortimer remarked as he grasped towards Nina’s chest. “You’re a Caliente, I know at least that.” Agile fingers swatted at her coconut shells, their tips nearly at the swell of her left breast. Careful to keep his distance, he froze, his palms a hair’s width from her bosom. “Dina, is it?” 

“No, I’m Nina-” she retorted on sharp, sultry breath. “We get that a lot, sir.” She leaned in close, pushing her chest against Mortimer’s hand. “But, I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” When his eyes met her own, Nina grinned lasciviously and waggled her fingers at him. 

“No, but I am,” Bella chimed in as she dragged him to her side. “Don’t you get handsy too! Just, just tell us what’s going on!” With an exasperated sigh, she grabbed the Oculus off of his head and clutched it. As Mortimer shook his head, his sight returned. With it, the absurd sights around him became immediately apparent. Now aware of Nina’s live form, he pulled back from her chest with a huff. Dark orbs made note of the others, to rising confusion. 

“Well, Mrs. Goth,” Dina chimed in as her eyes darted between her sister and Bella. “We’re the ones who called Cass, we’ve been caroling for charity. Malcolm and Liberty tagged along, and we’ve been going strong ever since!” She shook the jar as best she could, her lips in a broad grin. Likewise, her companions nodded back, “Sorry if we’ve disturbed you. We’ll go somewhere else then-”

Though disbelief lingered in her eyes, all Bella could do was laugh aloud. Knowing as she did, she couldn’t help but find their situation entirely ludicrous. And while she questioned Cassandra’s peculiar note to pineapples, she and her troupe had good intentions either way. “No, no, you’re fine,” Bella assured her as Mortimer chuckled to himself. “You mean well, I know. But hell if this won’t make a great story! My god, it’s just so strange!” 

Captivated by their mirth, the troupe fell under it as well and burst out in laughter. “Oh, what the hell?” Bella asked aloud with a toss of her locks. “Happy Snowflake Day, all! Come in, we’ve got food and money for you guys, too!” As their guests broke into applause, Don and the Calientes smiled to themselves, glad and sated once more. The sudden burst left Alexander obscured, allowing him to creep back unseen. He watched with curiosity, enthralled by the abrupt gathering on their lawn. 

“Merry Simsmas to you too,” Alexander exclaimed as he rose his right arm into the air. “You’re all nuts, but good work! Best wishes for everyone!” He pulled back, only to be swarmed by the loving embrace of his family. As the Goths crowded together, their impromptu guests cheered and hooted, their voices invigorated by glee. One by one, all began to cheer and dance, at once brightened by the holiday spirit they so sought. “And a happy vagina pineapple to us all!”


End file.
